"Difficult Duchess" Meghan Markle
There was a disagreement between Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle, mistreatment of staff, and Prince Harry's wife's mental issues. In his book "Spare," Harry tries to explain the reasons for the tension between Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton, but doesn't finish much. The author of an article for The Telegraph explains why their relationship didn't work out from the very beginning.
Prince Harry's statement that the media and the palace have caused conflict between the daughters-in-law is not the complete truth.
Prince Harry provides different reasons for the initial tension between the Princess of Wales and the Duchess of Sussex. In his autobiography "Spare," he shares stories, including the relationship of these two very different women, from the "embarrassing" moment when Kate "grimaced" over Meghan borrowing her lip gloss, to scandals over hormones and bridesmaids' dresses.
Harry claims that Prince William and his wife never thought that he could enter into a "relationship with someone like Meghan, who had a very successful career." This speaks to the clash between royal wives. Harry accuses the palace and the press of pitting Kate and Meghan against each other. There may indeed be some truth in this, but in his memoirs he does not mention the internal rivalry that affected the girls' relationship from the very first day. And as in any emotional wedding commotion, dresses played a central role here.
Meghan, a self-made woman with a successful career in television and her own Internet portal, The Tig, entered the royal struggle when she already had guaranteed paid partnerships with brands like American Neiman Marcus. Assisted by close friend and stylist Jessica Mulroney, the glamorous website proved to be the perfect platform to promote products from clothing to cosmetics to household items. After getting engaged to Harry in November 2017, Meghan must have been expecting new perks from hand-selected, familiar suppliers.
However, there was a certain "power hierarchy" here, and Meghan had to accept the fact that Kate had the first right to designers. One of Meghan's favorite designers was Erdem Moralioglu, but even after her engagement to Harry, Kate, who was his long-term client, continued to receive priority.
It's fair to say that Megan immediately did not like the idea of the privileged position of the future daughter-in-law, especially since she "was not even a queen yet." Meghan always defiantly called the Princess of Wales Kate, while the rest of the family called her Katherine. In his memoirs, Harry says that Kate was not present at the initial meeting between Megan and William, playing in the garden with the children – it is unlikely that such a reception suited both.
Meghan became fond of Erdem when she wore the FW 2015 Davina dress to NBC Today in early 2016, before meeting Harry. She later wore this dress for a Christmas dinner with the late Queen in 2018. When she and Harry attended a close friend's wedding in Jamaica eight months before their engagement, she wore another of the brand's Pre-Fall collections before it officially went on sale. And in September 2017, the future Duchess wore a red dress by Erdem "Sebla" for a parasport event in Toronto.
However, as a royal, Kate often wore outfits from this designer, so Meghan had to temporarily avoid them until March 2019. Meghan also resented the idea that Kate’s parents were using their connections to get special treatment. Meghan thought that Kate’s family had free use of Heathrow Airport’s Windsor Suite, and insisted that her mother Doria have the same access for security when traveling to the UK. However, no one recalls the Middletons ever being there, unlike William and Kate themselves. Doria was seen in the hall on her way to Harry and Meghan’s wedding in May 2018.
There was a rumor that Meghan was upset because Kate’s sister Pippa Middleton initially didn't invite her to the wedding with James Matthews in May 2017, fearing she would outshine the bride. Later, Pippa softened and invited Meghan to an evening reception to maintain peace. Harry said that William and Kate were offended that they had to change seating arrangements because of the couple, just as they were accused of doing at Harry and Meghan’s wedding. The planning of the event was a test for all its participants.
Harry also confirms a disagreement with the late Queen’s closest aide, Angela Kelly, over the Queen Mary’s diamond bandeau tiara loaned to Meghan for the ceremony. He denies saying, “What Meghan wants, Meghan gets,” but it seems like it has become an unofficial marriage slogan. To freshen the air in the chapel of St. George, they even asked for a freshener.
Harry called the quarrel between Kate and Meghan over bridesmaids’ dresses “science fiction,” although he did not deny the fact. The French fashion dresses did not suit any of the girls, and despite Harry thinking it was only Kate who raised the fuss, Meghan informed the palace staff about her complaint to the designer, angering several mothers. The argument did not occur at the fitting, but when Kate came to Megan to discuss everything. (At that time, both lived in Kensington Palace: Megan – in Nottingham Cottage, and Kate – in apartment 1A).
Ironically, Meghan herself told the staff of the Dukes of Cambridge that Kate “left in tears” when trying to help sort things out. That’s why the palace couldn’t demand a retraction. In the memoir, Harry claims that “Meghan brought Kate to tears because of the bridesmaids’ dresses,” and the Telegraph, citing two different sources, wrote that Kate cried after trying on a dress for Princess Charlotte.
“Kate had just given birth to Prince Louis and was emotional,” said one of them. (The Sun, headlined “Meghan brought Kate to tears,” ran an article the next day by Jack Royston, who later became Newsweek’s chief royal correspondent and one of Harry and Meghan’s strongest supporters.)
The next day, Kate returned with a bouquet of flowers and a card to apologize and try again to keep the peace. Everyone involved in the aftermath of this incident was surprised that in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Meghan deliberately distorted history. It is likely that she was upset by the heart attack of her father Thomas Markle, because of which he was unable to attend her and Harry’s wedding.
Mr Markle was on a morning show in the UK in June 2018 and said he had never met Harry in person. However, they spoke on the phone about Donald Trump and Brexit. Then his daughter Samantha publicly criticized Harry and Megan’s attitude towards their seriously ill father. This made the staff of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex feel a loss of control.
Harry claims that Kate informed Charles and Camille about the disagreement, and the story about the bridesmaids’ dresses has become old news. But after the wedding, more and more negative headlines emerged, as everyone became witnesses of the emotional speeches that the royal family members have become known for. The palace could no longer keep this a secret.
Even the Prince of Wales has been affected by the fallout from Meghan’s preoccupation with her wedding. It is claimed that the duchess was stern with a young palace employee and criticized the ceremony plan she had developed. She reportedly said, ‘If I had my way, I would ask someone else to do this instead of you.’ Upon learning of the incident, William took the woman aside and asked if she was okay. ‘You’re doing really well,’ he said, causing her to burst into tears.
But the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, as they were then known, had their own issues with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex from the start. The tension between the brothers arose after, in November 2016, Harry insisted that their joint communications secretary, Jason Knauf, release a statement claiming that Meghan had been subjected to ‘a wave of insults and harassment’ from the media. William was alarmed by the recklessness of the statement, as he had previously advised his brother to not rush and get to know Meghan better, which apparently offended Meghan.
The princes disagreed about Harry’s desire to confront the press and start managing social media accounts himself. William, who is an introvert, never sought the spotlight and found this approach too ‘starry.’ He had always followed the principle of ‘no complaining and no excuses,’ so he questioned the wisdom of Harry’s decision to start a war with the press, considering it a risky move for a woman he had only dated for a few months.
Meghan used the opportunity to remind staff that she is different from other royals, according to Valentine Low in Courtiers: The Hidden Power of the Crown. In the spring of 2017, six months before her official engagement to Harry, Meghan told one of his advisers: I think we both know that soon I will be one of your bosses.
She didn’t hesitate to mention the popularity she gained from the lead role in the legal-drama series ‘Force Majeure.’ ‘Her approach was this: I know everything, but I want some kind of control from the outside, so that you can rebel,’ someone familiar with her behavior said. However, she seemed not to fully grasp the workings of the monarchy. According to Lowe’s book, during a 2018 tour of Australia, she allegedly stated, ‘I can’t believe I’m not getting paid for this.’ On another occasion, she spoke to the Royal Foundation staff about how they weren’t doing enough to ‘monetize’ the Invictus Games, Harry’s charitable initiative for former and current service members who were injured or disabled.
The Prince of Wales has agreed to move press officer Amy Pickerill to be Meghan’s deputy private secretary after her engagement to Harry, despite Harry's claim that his brother did not support him. However, a senior assistant has complained about the couple’s treatment of the staff, who are trying very hard to help them. It's important to treat people with understanding, even if they do not meet the high standards of the future Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Meghan reportedly said, “It’s not my job to babysit people.”
There has been ongoing confusion about the “freebies” (clothing, perfume, cosmetics) that Harry says Meghan always shared with all the women in the office. Firstly, this is controversial and secondly, it violates the rules for receiving and registering gifts. Members of the royal family are generally not allowed to receive gifts, except for important royal events such as a wedding or the birth of a child. In this case, everything must pass through the hands of the owner of the royal warrant. Meghan initially hoped to keep some of the dresses given to her, which is not allowed.
In his memoir, Harry mentions an assistant who was asked to resign by the Palace’s Human Resources department after using her position to get free items. This echoes a statement made in March 2021 by Meghan’s friend Janina Gavankar, who said “someone should have walked out for gross misconduct.” People who worked for the couple at the time deny both claims.
In October 2018, just days after the assassination of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, during a government banquet in Fiji, Meghan wore a pair of diamond earrings given to her by Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman. The palace initially said that they were provided to her by the Chopard brand, but it was later revealed that they were a wedding gift. Meghan’s lawyers stated: “The Duchess never told the staff that she borrowed the earrings from the jeweler, so all suggestions that she asked them to lie to the press are unfounded.”
Two days later, the lawyers added: “She may have said she borrowed the earrings, which is true as all gifts from heads of state are considered gifts to Her Majesty the Queen, who can then lend them to family members.” However, the staff could have clarified this directly. If they were a wedding gift, they could not be called rented either. Meghan's lawyers also claimed that Meghan knew nothing about the Khashoggi murder, although she once mentioned that, being a bachelor’s degree in international relations from Northwestern University, she loves to read The Economist, where more than one article was published on this topic.
A series of layoffs happened shortly after the engagement, beginning with Prince Harry’s private secretary, Ed Lane Fox, and Kensington Palace’s undersecretary of communications, Katrina McKeever, who left in September 2018. It was rumored that there was increased tension after an article in the Sunday Times titled “The end of the Harry and William duo” was published about their decision to divide the “yards”. This will be formally announced in March 2019.
A couple of days earlier, Mr. Knauf sent an email to his immediate supervisor, Simon Case, and mentioned a conversation with the palace’s head of personnel regarding concerns about Megan’s behavior. He mentioned that he was distressed by the Duchess firing two personal assistants due to bullying and unacceptable treatment towards one of them. He also mentioned that the couple's trip to Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, and Tonga had problems exacerbated by the Duchess’s behavior. He expressed concern that this issue would go unanswered.
Ms. Carruthers bonded with Meghan over their love of dogs and Meghan later confided in her about her mental health issues. She also arranged for her private secretary, Laura Groutides, to become executive assistant and office manager to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s private secretary, Samantha Cohen. Meghan used to call both “Sam”. Ms Cohen, a longtime and respected employee of the royal palace, agreed to work for Harry and Meghan out of respect for the late queen’s personal request, but she resigned in October 2019 due to “rough treatment” and comparing her service to “work with teenagers,” according to Lowe's book.
Disgruntled employees questioned Ms. Carruthers’ ability to determine the true causes of complaints. The Duchess strongly denied bullying anyone and said she and Harry submitted a detailed response to the allegations. The results of the subsequent independent investigation by the palace were not made public.
When it became known in early December 2018 that Megan’s personal assistant Melissa Touabti was dismissed after only eight months of service, the media again started talking about the “dictatorship” of the Duchess. The couple claims that her departure led to negative publicity, while others note that their reputation suffered after her dismissal, as she was the one who resolved issues with all the disgruntled employees. This was followed by the resignation of the security officer. Ms Pickerill submitted her resignation in March 2019, followed by Mr Knauf. Both are working on the EarthshotPrize, which is awarded at the initiative of Prince William for his contribution to environmental protection.
In “Spare” Harry calls it “rumors and lies” of the staff due to the rivalry and jealousy that has poisoned relations between the “teams” of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. He also says that the staff did not take “constructive criticism” and considered any comment as an insult. William’s team had “a knack for backstab and a talent for intrigue and constantly pitted sides against each other.” Megan, according to him, was kind to everyone, brought baskets of food and flowers, bought pizza, cookies and ice cream.
However, before being sent to Kensington Palace, the ice cream man was apparently strictly forbidden to treat the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, their team, and even their children. After the Duchess left, the servant called the rest of the household and invited them to share the meal. One former employee explained that Meghan’s generosity made her nasty behavior even harder to put up with. “Today she buys you flowers, and tomorrow she drives you away,” she said.
So when, during the 2019 Nottingham Cottage scandal, William called Meghan “difficult,” “irritable,” “rude,” and “distancing from the staff,” he wasn’t just “mouthing” for the press, as Harry claims. In fact, he knew about Meghan’s character long before the nickname “Difficult Duchess” began to slip in the press.
Justifying the decision to pour his heart out to the world in his memoir, Harry stated in an interview with ITV’s Tom Brady: “I’m not sure how much honesty burns bridges. You know, silence only allows the abuser to abuse. Right? So I don’t know how silence will ever improve the situation. I really believe in it.” This announcement naturally surprised everyone who signed a non-disclosure agreement while working for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and other members of the royal family. Now the veil has fallen from many mysteries.
Harry spreads unsubstantiated theories in The Spare Pages that the media had a plan against him and Meghan and royal aides colluded to spread negative stories involving them. He also accuses the press and the palace of trying to turn the couple into antagonists to other members of the royal family in order to raise the profile of all those higher in the hierarchy in the public eye.
Here we can not fail to note another phrase of the late Queen as a firsthand witness to the rise and fall of Harry and Meghan: “Memories can be different.”
Fashion house Erdem and NGO Archwell declined to comment.
